“when I am a Mommy I will NEVER…”

“let my baby cry it out.” oh, no. I wanted to gently soothe my baby to sleep, because babies cry when they really need to be held. Well. That is one of those Statements That Is True Until.

Until I start to wonder if, on the night of the next full moon, I’m going to stumble across the hallway, grope around in Keeghan’s crib, and scoop up a wolf cub.

Until I start to get nursemaid’s elbow from holding my 20 lb baby 24 hours a day.

Until I am being summoned by hysterical shrieks every time he burps. Or toots. Or rolls over. In other words, every 45 minutes, night or day, except when it’s more often.

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Until Mr Too Smart For His Own Good figures out that if he holds out until Mommy Goes Crazy, he’ll get to ring in the New Year.

Until enough nights of no sleep plus a day of No Hot Water pushes me over the edge, and i realize that patting his back until my arm goes numb Is Not Getting The Job Done.

Whereupon I will give my beautiful boy a kiss at 6 pm, tell him I love him and Night Night, put him to bed, and go set the kitchen timer. And he’ll be asleep in under 30 minutes. And stay that way for 5 hours. Hallelujah.

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