Last night while feeding the kids dinner, Ian announced, “The toaster is a robot.” I wasn’t really paying him my full attention, but I answered him anyway, which is always a mistake. Just for the record.

Me: That would be awesome, sweetie, but it’s just a machine.

Ian: No, it’s not. It’s a robot.

Me: Okay. We can pretend it is.

Ian: But it makes toast all by itself, Mommy. Why? Why isn’t it a robot?

Me: uhh…

I actually had to google the difference between a robot and a machine. The answer? A robot’s function is determined by its programming. A machine’s function is mechanical. So, since we cannot reprogram the toaster and have it produce, say, pottery, pizza, or eggs, ergo it is not a robot. He seemed satisfied with that answer, and I didn’t get the “Mommy is an idiot” face during any of the ensuing discussion about robots vs. toasters, so I guess we’ll put this one in the “win” column, next to “What’s God?” and “Who’s Barbie?”